China Part 4: How to Get a Work Visa

Has Amos been locked up for visa violations in a scenic, high-security Hong Kong prison? Find out in this week's post.

We left the US with year-long, multiple entry  tourist visas,  so we've had to leave China every 30 days to get our passports stamped. Our department secretaries (Summer, Sunny, and Sharon) helped us through two months of paperwork we needed before we could switch to a work visa in Hong Kong.  The first step was a health examination that included an ultrasound, EKG, and full-body X-ray. Let's just say China doesn't fool around with silly lead aprons when it comes to ensuring their workers' health.  The last step was to get a nationwide Foreign Expert Certificate by passing a knowledge, writing, and psychological examination.  So, white-knuckled with fear that China might deem us psychologically unsound to teach English, we plunged in.  Here is a representative sample of the actual questions, you can test yourself.

Knowledge Section:

1. When was the coronation of Queen Elizabeth II?

A) 1951    B)   1952      C)   1953     D)  1954

2. Who is the American President?

A) Ronald Reagan B) George Bush C) Bill Clinton D) Richard Nixon

Psychological Section: (This section claimed "each question is without right or wrong," but then assigned us a score out of 100.)

3. How do you feel on an early autumn morning?

A) I would enjoy the cool weather in fall.

B) A lot of leaves may have fallen.

C) I won't have any special feelings.

D) It might be a little bit cool outside.

E) It might be draining outside.

4. Do you agree that the up-and-down is not the real life, but trivial daily life is real?

A) No, I would like to have an up-and-down life.

B) I kind of agree.

C) It may not match with everyone's life.

D) Yes, I agree.

E) I am kind of disagree.

5. What do you think about suicide?

A) It is not a matter of my concern.

B) I can't understand it.

C) It is a kind of relief.

D) It is understandable.

E) It is an extreme behavior.

6. Do you think that respect is more important than food and clothes?

A) No, I sort of disagree with it.

B) I think that solving the food/clothing issue is the basis for respect.

C) I don't think they are comparable.

D) Yes, I kind of agree with it.

E) Yes, it is similar to the spirit vs. WUZHI.

7. Someday, if you met your old lover accidentally after having lost contact for a long time, and the two of you sit down at a coffee shop, what would be the toughest topic?

A) The lost feeling after your break-up.

B) The experience of an international trip.

C) The feeling of your break-up.

D) The sweet feeling of your love.

E) The person who interrupted your relationship.

8. How do you feel when you look at your latest photo?

A) I am very satisfied with it, and feel that I am becoming more beautiful.

B) It is not bad, and I like the way I am in the picture.

C) I don't like the way I look in the picture.

D) I wouldn't feel any difference.

E) I could see the time stamp on my face and feel dissatisfied with it.


Writing Section: Write 400 words in 15 minutes on the following topic:

"Humans should eat animals, or humans should keep animals as pets."

I don't know how you did, but Emmy beat Amos, 47% to 45%. Amos's knowledge strengths were "none," and his weaknesses were "mathematical reasoning" and "general knowledge."  Emmy's psychological strengths were "none," and her weaknesses were "morality" and "decision-making." Ouch. Within a week, we were officially declared Foreign Experts, which raises some tough questions about China's standards for foreigners.  Off to Hong Kong for work visas!

Hong Kong boasts the biggest nightly outdoor light show in the world, sweeping purple and green beams across the sky from skyscrapers on two separate islands.

We had thought Hong Kong was simply a modern, sky-scraping city.  Turns out it's a whole clump of islands, with two shores resembling New York City and the rest closer to some remote Indonesian getaway.  We fled the visa office and in 40 minutes Emmy was striking silly poses on a remote beach. Those photos were cut by the editor.

Contrary to our preconceived notions, Hong Kong had plenty of open space for hiking, swimming, and enjoying the city's skyline.

We stayed the night in southern Kowloon, the designer-clothes mecca of Hong Kong.  Nestled in between windows selling diamonds and Italian leather lies Chungking Mansions, a failed luxury apartment building now subdivided between over 700 immigrant families.  We had read that you could get anything at the Mansions, from rare books to snake-blood injections and donated organs, so of course we had to see it for ourselves.  We wandered in and found ourselves surrounded by cell phone and Bollywood movie mini-stores, so narrow you could touch both walls without straining. One journalist claims that a fifth of Nigeria's cell phones come directly from Chungking Mansions. Within a day, it felt like home, a home without fresh air or sunlight.  The first floor alone hosted over 20 Indian food stands, whose employees and customers mostly came from countries we'd never been to: Pakistan, Bangladesh, Nepal, Cote d'Ivoire, Benin, Nigeria, ad infinitum.  This proves that when an endless stream of immigrants from all over the world eats dinner, it wants chicken tikka masala.  We didn't go looking for the infamous snake blood, and nobody snuck it onto our plates or into our beds.  No bedbugs either.

In 1989, 11 people died in an electrical fire on the first floor of Chungking Mansions. Small wonder, when every corner is stuffed with gnarled wiring adapting a luxury apartment building to the needs of thousands of small-time snake-blood salesmen.

The decor wasn't too welcoming up here on the grimy 12th floor, but we were downstairs by 8am anyways, gorging ourselves at Mr. Butt's Fine Indian Dining.

We hopped on a 24-hour train home to Kunming.  Amos enjoyed the rice-terrace scenery and rudely accepted large amounts of Clementines offered to him by fellow passengers.  Emmy, who enjoyed her bunk and the slow rumbling of the train, snoozed for 19 hours.  We arrived in Kunming at 1am as official English professors and Foreign Experts.  We went back to sleep.  It's not every day that failing a test will earn you a week-long vacation eating samosas and wandering deserted islands.

We did have to reschedule the classes we missed. Emmy taught recipe vocabulary, and then held a special cooking-dinner-for-teacher class in our apartment.